My new co-teacher is giving my little patience a test. The woman rearranges my classroom, almost daily. Moving my materials for class, changing the board schedule, changing the things she wants us to do in class.
Korea has gotten the best of me. As much as I wish I could be all rainbows and butterflies it is far from reality here. January was okay, not great but bearable. Now it is February and although I have long weekend this weekend I am not exactly in a chipper mood.
Tonight after my last class of the day I had a meeting with the principle and my former co-teacher. Mind you this is during the only prep time I have today. I had emailed the principle to tell her that no, her extra projects were not done, I don't have enough prep time (and now she is taking my only hour of the day). She went on for almost a half an hour questioning my passion for teaching, my love of children and work ethic.
Great way to start a weekend. I love to be insulted and degraded by my boss. I of course started to cry, lovely, show weakness to the Koreans. I give up.
If Korea is the best year of my life like everyone keeps insisting it is they really haven't lived. I loved my student teaching placement in North Minneapolis. I drove to work in the wee hours of the morning, I did lesson plans and classroom at home. I wanted to do as much for my students as I could. In Korea I look forward to the moment I can walk out of school and not see my students for the rest of the day.
I didn't know if Korea would change me or not when I first got here. I have now realized that it absolutely has. I am even more determined to get back to the states and be that teacher who takes work home every night and loves it. I want to teach in a school with people I respect and look up to. I want to use curriculum that is interactive and engages the students. And most of all, I want someone to appreciate what I do. In Korea I am wrong 99% of the time, and when I am not wrong, it's just expected that I go above and beyond.
On a lighter note yesterday we had a Lunar New Year celebration. Here are some super cute pictures.
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| Here is my class they look like angels, right? |
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| Whole outfit and my favorite student Allie |
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| All the six year-old students and teachers. That's the Principle Mrs. Lee on the far left and Mrs. Kim far right |
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| The students bowed to us, crazy! |
Hi Sam,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have the winter blues like we do here. I am so tired of winter! It hasn't been that bad, but so much worse than last year. Every day, cold or colder or coldest and it seems like it snows 2" every other day. I'm constantly shovelling. And nothing to look forward to right now. No warm spring break planned this year. It's the doldrums. And for me, it sounds like we'll have layoffs again, probably before the end of February, so I'm thinking I'm going to be without a job again. What fun that will be. Not that my job is very fun right now anyway. They haven't approved budgets for the year, so the projects are on hold, so I don't have much to work on. But I have to go in every day and do busy work. Ick! I'd rather be crazy busy.
Not that any of that should make you feel better, but from my perspective, having been in the work force for about 27 years, there are a lot of ups and downs. Some jobs will be better than others, some will be a chore, others will be fun and rewarding. Some bosses will seem like idiots, some geniuses, many times you won't know til you think back on them later. Or you'll change your mind.
Something I learned early in my working days was that things change. Everything you're in the middle of is only a moment in time in the grand scheme of life. You will get through this. The best thing you can do is figure out what you're learning from it. Write those things down. They might all be negative, but that's okay. It's still learning.
I remember a couple of different bosses I've had in the past. Ones that I didn't like much and didn't think they did their jobs very well. But I made notes of things they did that I wanted to make sure I NEVER did myself. Those things still stick with me.
Some of the best bosses I've had though, are ones I didn't realize were helping me until later. They were the ones who gave me constructive feedback that was hard to hear. I remember being offended at times and getting tears in my eyes, or all out crying on the way home from work. But privately I thought about what they had said and tried to understand how they could say what they said. I didn't ever admit to them or let them think they got to me (That's the pride speaking), but when I really honestly put thought into what they said, I could see why they said it and realized that I didn't want people to think that way about me. It was hard to admit, even just to myself. But privately, I did react and I did change some things over time. Now, looking back, I'm glad I didn't completely ignore feedback. It's how we improve.
Anyway, I hope that didn't sound like a lecture. Your struggles with the teaching system and the leaders there just reminded me of my own experiences.
If nothing else, you are learning a lot about their culture. It's so different when you consider what they value, how they talk to each other, how they live, what they eat, etc. That's valuable experience that you can share with your American students when you get back here.
Didn't you go to Seoul over the weekend? Post some photos! I want to see more food photos, please.
Lynnae