I panicked. I thought I could do this and I can't. I didn't find a job before graduation and I thought "hey, let's take a chance and try something totally out of the box". Hell no. I am crazy! I woke up this morning at 5:30am, after sleeping about 5 hours. I cried, of course, apparently that's my theme. I ate a banana for breakfast. I emailed mom and researched flights to go home. That's right folks, this girl is not brave, by any stretch of the imagination.
Today at school was market day. Which was the most convoluted thing ever. I have no idea what the purpose was and the vice principle was crazy. She was yelling at another teacher and I "Teacher, Teacher you have to make them...." What? I just got here, and already she yelled at me. In the middle of market day, Rachel (the foreign teacher I am supposed to take over for) was talking about going home. I started to cry, in the middle of the room. Then after market day was done, thankfully, Rachel took pity on me and we went to lunch. She took me to this place where you can get pasta. Holy crap! They can't even do pasta right. It was not good.
I went to observe the rest of Rachel's morning class and I started to cry. The thought of teaching kids out of a workbook makes me so sad. I just don't understand any of this.The rest of the day went pretty much the same way. We sat at a table, I took notes on my laptop, and watched as kids "learned" through a book.
I asked a teacher if they would take me to E-Mart. Yup, not going to happen. These teachers have lives, that don't involve taking the sad pathetic newbies to the market. I was told that I can go to little market across the street to get some food. Yes, that would be wonderful, if I wasn't so uncomfortable and unhappy that I am ready curl up in a ball.
Before I left school today, I had to have a chat with the vice principle. She asked what I was doing on my computer during class. I was taking notes, while I observed. She was pretty confused about my taking notes, on a computer. Apparently that's a no-no, just like not wearing socks with my slippers.
I think I broke down and cried at least three or four times at school today. And then I walked to the motel, I refuse to call this awful place home, and I cried some more. As usual. Great day.
Hmm, instead of me piling on the things that aren't going so well, I'm going to try to point out a few positive things. Don't hate me!
ReplyDeleteSince you haven't found food you like yet, you might be doing well on your diet!
If you figure out why they teach with the workbooks and get an understanding of what they are trying to accomplish, you might feel better about it, and even if not, you'll learn a different way of teaching which is good experience. You don't have to agree, but understand the strategy.
Once you understand what they are doing and why, you might be able to influence them to try some new or different things. Probably not while you are super new, but eventually.
Questions for you:
How much English do these kids know? Do the teachers speak in casual, conversational English and the kids understand? Or how does that work?
Again, hang in there. It doesn't sound easy, that's for sure. The philosophical part of me thinks that often times it's the most challenging things that help you learn and grow the most. Try to focus on what you can learn there, even if it's just things about their culture.
Lynnae
Hi Lynnae,
ReplyDeleteEach class is different. My SPOT class has good English skills, however comprehension isn't there. They can read and write, but they do not understand what they are reading and writing.
The teachers that I have observed so far have all been fairly relaxed. I have heard a couple are pretty stick to the box types but not that I have seen. Most get pretty animated because it helps the kids keep the new vocabulary fresh in their mind.