Waves

So this will be a different kind of post. It's more a reflection than a response or a story. And it's more for my benefit than yours I'm sure.

I feel like a beach ball. I'm not on the beach but I'm not floating in the ocean. I feel stuck. I'm pushed one way and then another, but I haven't made up my mind yet.

I am continually thinking about what's next. Do I keep applying for teaching jobs? Do I keep applying for nanny jobs? Do I look in the states or somewhere new? Or do I find another place in Korea? It's not black and white and it's not easy either. I am really liking Korea, now when the raining season hits and my hair gets huge you never know. But right now I'm liking Korea. I have great friends, the country isn't bad, if you know what's going on and keep up to date. I still don't like my job, but I could find another one, I'm already here.

I have never been so conflicted. I knew what I wanted before I even started college. I knew what I wanted throughout college. And now I'm not sure what the next step is. I make good money here, I have a decent setup. Do I leave that for the possibility of a job in the states?

So many questions, and too much lost sleep. The wanderings of my mind continue.